I
have been on both sides of the table, so I know (and understand) the
arguments from each position. As a patron, I expect to be greeted
politely and taken care of. You do not have to be overly animated or
have a sparkling personality. All you have to do is be respectful,
attempt to get my order correct and bring my food/drinks in a timely
manner. If those needs are met, I have no problem with tipping. And I do
understand when things don’t quite go right or when the kitchen is
backed up and it takes longer to get my food. However, I also take into
consideration how busy the restaurant is, how busy my server is and
other factors that might come into play. Essentially, I’m a pretty
easygoing customer. Having said all of that, I can be a pain in the rear
if these simple expectations cannot be met or are returned with a snide
attitude. After all, I was once a server too. I take that into account
each time I go out to eat. It does not excuse you from acting in a
professional manner, as would be expected in any other job. From the
customer standpoint, I can understand why some feel they shouldn’t have
to tip. I’ve read all of the arguments and I do agree that what it boils
down to a lot is the attitude of the server, whether it is an existing
attitude or an attitude that resulted from something going wrong.
Servers: please understand that if I get upset, it isn’t necessarily an
affront to your character. I’m likely just irritated for having to wait
for an excessive amount of time, upset that I have to wait for food to
be sent back after being incorrect or angry that you aren’t being
attentive. Please don’t try to place the blame on anyone, just remedy
the situation, period. That’s really all I want, unless I happen to
specifically mention your attitude towards me.
Now, let’s visit the other side of the table. When I was waiting
tables, I always went to work with a fresh, positive attitude when I
first began my shift. Sadly, by the end of my shift, I was ready to
drink myself under the table. Yes patrons, it really is that bad and
it’s usually only a four hour shift (that feels like eight after being
on your feet the entire time without a break)! Whatever your feelings
are about tipping (and I am personally not a fan of it), doesn't change that this is just the reality (a reality servers didn’t choose). Yes, I
did choose to wait tables, but it doesn’t mean that I chose to put up
with the constant stream of bull that I endure, table after table. As a
server, I was yelled at, cussed at, accused of all types of things,
talked down to and then stiffed at the end. Maybe people who work in the
higher-end restaurants are more satisfied, but there is a reason for
high turnover rates in the industry. Let me give you all a breakdown of
how a shift might go: You must arrive an hour or two earlier than the
restaurant’s opening time (perhaps earlier in some) and begin prepping
your tables and getting the restaurant ready for service (i.e. brewing
tea, pouring salt/pepper into shakers, stocking fridges, etc…). When the
restaurant first opens, there are usually only a couple of servers
staffed. Servers usually continue to stream in as the lunch shift really
gets underway and this is when the chaos starts. Lunch is particularly
bad because everyone is in such a rush to get back to work (although
I’ve never understood going to lunch at a busy restaurant when you’re in
a time crunch). You might have 3-4 tables who all want something at the
same time and each one gets angry when you don’t attend to them that
very second (I once had a customer who asked for a side of dressing and
got upset with me for not producing it when I hadn’t even left the table
yet). You are asked inane questions about the menu, asked to order
things that aren’t even on the menu at all and when the bill comes, they
want it split four ways and everyone hands you a $20 bill, which you
don’t have change for (servers are usually only required to carry a
small amount of change). That means you must go to the bar for change,
wait on the bartender (who is usually slammed) and by the time you get
back with the change, patrons are angry they had to wait so long that
they leave you a crummy tip or not one at all! People seem to get into
this line of thinking that servers make a ton of money because they add
up what a server “should” make and assume that everyone is tipping that
well. Trust me, they’re not. Just because people should tip 15-20%
doesn’t mean they do. Many people (at least at the establishment I
worked at) would leave 10% or less! I would have to kiss major ass to
make my 15% (maybe sometimes 20). And I have no problem working hard in
order to accomplish this. But I know that there are some people who do
not tip based on the service, they tip based on attractiveness, race and
other things that are completely out of the server’s control. Where
else do people get to determine your pay based on factors that don’t
even pertain to the job? I’m not saying this is right, but it is the
reality. And yes, I could get another job, but most jobs are not usually
as flexible and when I was in college, that’s exactly what I needed. In
addition, yes servers really do have to tip share with other people who
work in the restaurant. At the place I worked for, we had to tip out
the bussers and bartenders (some places you even tip out the hostess).
And yes, my base pay was $2.15 an hour. And yes, the restaurant is
“supposed” to make up the difference if you do not make minimum wage.
Want to know something funny about that? At the end of your shift, the
computer asks you how much you made in tips. If you put in a number that
the computer determines is too low, you either have to change the
number or get a manager to override it for you. Do you how many nights
that happened to me? And even though I could’ve waited for a manager to
override it, most nights it wasn’t worth tracking down a manager to do
that. After the day I just had, I’d rather just lie and say I made
enough for the night. I can guarantee that I wasn’t the only one to do
that. Is that the patron’s fault? Certainly not, but patrons need to
understand exactly what a server goes through to placate the most
finicky people. I’ve run around the restaurant like a mad woman, getting
things for my tables to cater to them and still got left with a sucky
tip (or again, no tip at all). I’ve given roses to moms on Mother’s Day,
candy and small toys to children, been as friendly and polite as I can
(after being stiffed by the last two tables) and tried to accommodate my
customers as much as I can only to be insulted, yelled at and not given
a tip. It was a good thing that my wait job was only meant to supplement my
income because I wouldn’t have made it otherwise. I walked out of a
shift once with $14! Fourteen! I might as well have stayed home for
that. The thing is that people claim they tip based on service, but a
lot of times they don’t. They take things out on the server that isn’t
their fault and treat them like servants in the process. The managers in
a restaurant tell their servers constantly that a bigger check means a
bigger tip; this is such a falsehood. I found that most times when the
check was bigger, my tip would be smaller. Oh and did I mention the
people who completely run out on their tabs? The management tends to
assume that if this happens consistently, the server must be allowing
it to happen. There was a policy instituted at the restaurant I worked
for where if someone ran out on their tab, you either had to pay for it
or you had to be written up. There was an incident that happened many
years back at a local restaurant. A young waitress had a couple of
people run out on their tab. Fearing she might have to pay the tab
herself or get into trouble, she followed them out of the restaurant and
they ran her over! She died because someone decided they didn’t want to
pay for their food and management places the responsibility for that onto
the server. For something that is no fault of the servers, they have
to face this penalty; it’s ridiculous.
Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed serving food to people. There were
many friendly patrons who were easy to take care of and didn’t go
ballistic when something went wrong. But we also had patrons who had
obnoxious children running around, people who made messes that they
likely wouldn’t make in their own homes, people who complained on such a
consistent basis we knew who they were, people who snapped their
fingers and hurled insults at the wait staff and many other ugly things.
Yes, we should provide your meal hot, correct and with a smile, but we
do not owe you our souls for bringing your food. Do I wish it could be
different? Most definitely; I hated going to a job where I wasn’t ever
sure how much money I would be bringing home. There would’ve been no way
to make a decent living waiting tables unless each patron did their due
diligence and ponied up their tip. Be kind to your server; they are
attempting to do their job as I’m sure you do as well (and you’ve had
bad days at work too). I would like to abolish tipping too as to be fair
to both patrons and servers, but until that happens, please have a
little respect for the people who bring you your food. It’s not as easy
of a job as you might think it is.
