Thursday, January 9, 2014
Life...and what's really important
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. For some reason, my mind has been preoccupied with life and its true meaning. I have been studying and researching aspects of grief and of joy and how they relate to life, death and all else encompassed in the world around us. What my mind has centered on is how there isn’t much in this world that is truly “important.” A friend of mine who passed away from cancer put this into perspective for me quite a while ago and it’s now starting to sink in. He wrote down some of his thoughts shortly before he died and they had a huge impact on me. He wondered why there were so many trivial things that we seemed to zero in on. He concluded that when you were facing a life-threatening prognosis, NONE of those trivial things mattered one bit. With this sentiment, I must agree. Why do we spend so much of our time and energy worrying about our weight, how others perceive us, our jobs, money, etc…why is it that only when we are faced with death do we consider the things that make life worth living? Why do we waste so many precious moments being angry with others, judging others or worrying about things that we cannot control? I think we can all agree that status, power, money, etc…cannot be carried over when you die, so why oh why do we place so much importance on all of this? I am, from this day forward, pledging to embrace life and all of the beautiful things in the world. I want to focus a lot less on the superficial things. So, when I find myself having a “moment” (which we all will because humanity itself is imperfection), I am going to re-focus my attention and energy into something else. If I find myself wanting to judge someone, it’s time for me to kiss and hug on my boys. When I find myself stressing about my weight, I will give my husband a big hug. When I find myself worrying about money, I will tell my parents how much I appreciate all they’ve done (and continue to do) for me. And when all else fails and I am feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I will open my Bible and read. I will pray, I will sing, I will do whatever is necessary to change my outlook at the time. It is my humble vow to make the most out of whatever time in life I have. It’s too tiring to spend too much of my precious time focused on the things that just don’t really matter much. I want to be able to remember what the sky looked like on a cloudless day. Or the brilliant colors of the evening sunset. I want to recall in great detail all of God’s creatures, big and small. I want to dance in the rain, sing at the top of my lungs and not care how I sound, marvel at the creations that I take for granted on a daily basis. I want to live a life of pure beauty. I want to be able to see the joy in my deepest pains and sorrows. I want to make the absolute best out of life that is afforded to me. And when my time on Earth is done, I will be able to sing and dance all the way to heaven, knowing that I am leaving this life in peace. Something much more beautiful awaits me in heaven, but to be able to make the best out of my time here is something quite glorious.
Angel
Her wings were slipping
As she fell from grace
Yet a look of content
Remained on her face
She held her breath
As she shed a tear
Her entire world was crashing down
And she couldn’t find anyone near
Losing her composure
She closed her eyes
She pictured perfection
And suddenly she could fly
She soared above it all
All fears and sorrows gone
She caught a glimpse of the morning sky
A new day dawned
She felt the wind in her hair
A sense of peace ensued
Clearly the compassion of God
Was the reason she flew!
As she fell from grace
Yet a look of content
Remained on her face
She held her breath
As she shed a tear
Her entire world was crashing down
And she couldn’t find anyone near
Losing her composure
She closed her eyes
She pictured perfection
And suddenly she could fly
She soared above it all
All fears and sorrows gone
She caught a glimpse of the morning sky
A new day dawned
She felt the wind in her hair
A sense of peace ensued
Clearly the compassion of God
Was the reason she flew!
Writing is my Artistry
A blank sheet of paper is my canvas. With fluid movements, I write words on my canvas. Words that I hope will inspire, motivate, change or move even just one person. With my words, I can paint some of the most beautiful pictures or recount a painful memory. I can illuminate, illustrate or define a variety of topics. I can be as personal or impersonal as I choose to be. I can write to myself or entertain an audience wherever my words travel. I can write from my personal perspective or create a story of pure fiction. As long as I have a piece of paper and a writing utensil, I can write any place of my choosing. My inspiration to write can come at any time and at any place. A tiny spark can transform into a brush fire within a matter of minutes. I generally don’t get to choose when something will come into my head for me to write down. My only hope is that I can get my words down as quickly as they are being processed in my mind. There are times I can write for days, yet other times I am blocked for weeks (or longer). My passion for writing is a love like no other; at times, it has been my only saving grace. It is because of writing that I am self-aware and expressive. It is my creative outlet, a gift from God that I do not want to squander. Therefore, I write as often as I can. I try not to excuse myself from it or let the hustle and bustle of life keep me from it. While I would love to have my words published someday, if that never came to pass, I would not stop. Writing means much more to me than words on paper; it is my life and a great love of mine. There is little in this world that could keep me from it. As long as I am able to get my thoughts down on paper, I will always be a writer.
A Woman's Worth
It is a woman's nature to give. We do it openly and freely. Many times, we
give and receive very little (if anything) in return. Sometimes, this is
done at the expense of our own well-being. Our complexities run deep and our
range of our emotions stretches beyond any string of words that can be
written. Our giving nature (over time) causes us to become somewhat
delicate, yet we have an immense strength that supersedes our fragility. God
created woman with a purpose; she is the pillar of faith, hope and love. She
can carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, cry a river of tears in
her soul and return to you a smile that lights up a room. If a woman could
reveal the scars on her heart from all the pain she has endured, it would
likely look like a war zone. And yet, she perseveres. Why? The simple answer
is that she understands the true beauty of the world around her. She sees
all that life has to offer and she jumps in headfirst. Even through pain and
suffering, she waits for the rainbow at the end of the storm. She knows that
when she finds that "sweet spot" of happiness, it will have been worth it
all. See, even in the worst of circumstances, a woman can find the value in
hardship. Therefore, know that when a woman gives you her love, she does so
with a bandage over her heart. She trusts you to slowly pull that bandage
away and yet, it is often ripped off instead. A woman has so much to give;
subtle nuances may be all you've seen, but the river runs deep. A love like
ours should be cherished and revered. Women, take heed for you hold the key.
Don't give your heart away to anyone undeserving of your love. Nurture all
that you have and save it for those who earn it. If you find yourself
engaged in a battle, do not allow yourself to become broken. God did not
give us all these wonderful and amazing qualities for us to completely
shut-down for anybody. If we know our own worth, we will convey that
outwardly to everyone around us. Don't let yourself be downgraded by anybody
else or worse, by your own admission. Stand tall, stand proud and be
thankful for the many things that you make you the brilliant woman you are!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Homosexuality and Tolerance
I normally try to steer clear of touchy subjects that require a solid decision, either for or against. They usually have me stuck somewhere in the middle of the issue and it’s difficult to choose a specific side. I’ve thought about this for a long time now, trying to understand the arguments on both sides and learning from friends, family and even my own personal experiences.
For as long as I can remember, I have believed that the institution of marriage was meant for a man and a woman. I have been taught this through religion and for a more obvious, biological reason: because men and women create babies. This is a very simplistic and straightforward piece of information and I have clung to it for as long as I have been consciously aware of the idea of marriage and family.
Of course, living in a black and white world is simple; it’s either one way or another. The problem with this is that we don’t live in a world of black and white; we live in a world of color and this alone, makes certain issues more difficult to tackle. However, I have found that a lot of people want to cling to that black and white version of the world. It’s not difficult to surmise why; it makes things much easier. You stick to the one side you’ve chosen and you don’t have to deal with any conflicting feelings because you’ve made your choice.
I’m always questioning my world and the things in it, trying to figure out how I feel and why about various issues in life. And then I asked myself the ultimate question: why can’t I keep my own beliefs, yet still be tolerant towards others who don’t share my beliefs? We all have different beliefs and come from diverse backgrounds. Most (if not all) religions teach tolerance, acceptance and love, yet very few put those teachings into practice. I have a big problem with this hypocrisy in religion, especially when there is not one Supreme Being on this Earth.
I have thought about the main arguments I have heard from heterosexuals regarding why they cannot tolerate homosexuals, especially with respect to marriage and the family unit. What I have found and seen to be the main issues, involve: the religious beliefs on what a family is comprised of and whom a marriage should be between, health issues surrounding sexually transmitted diseases, whether being gay is something that one chooses or that is biologically imprinted and simply the definition that is socially accepted with regards to family and marriage.
The religion argument has been the hardest one for me to overcome. My religion has always played a very important role in my life and I couldn’t simply disregard those thoughts and beliefs. I took a lot of time to think about how I feel about homosexuality and what has been taught to me through the church. Yes, I do know that in the Bible, God condemns homosexuality and it is considered sinful. However, having said that, there are a multitude of other sins that heterosexuals commit everyday that are just as sinful, yet somehow these can be overlooked as long as you’re not a homosexual. This idea doesn’t resonate well with me, especially when you’re also taught to be loving, accepting and tolerant of others. I am not God; everyone has to account for their own sins and I do not feel I have any right to judge, as I am a sinner just as everyone else. God loves us all, even when we sin, yet I know many “religious” people that believe homosexuals don’t deserve God’s love and only care about converting them to what they believe. This leads me to my next point. If all you care about is trying to convert people to think the way you do or believe what you believe, you are not being the loving person as it is dictated in the Bible. We are supposed to love and care for all others, regardless of their own beliefs. It is only through love that the message of religion can really be heard. As a religious person, I would be highly offended by someone trying to influence my beliefs to match that of their own; what makes me think that I have the right to do this to other people? If someone chooses to have a different belief system from my own, it is their choice to do so. I would rather God be proud of me for loving and accepting all of his creations as opposed to trying to tear someone else down. As I said before, we all have to account for the decisions we make in life and I do not feel that I am better or more exalted than anyone else as I am too, a sinner.
The second issue that seems to come up a lot is the idea that homosexuals are the cause for the spread of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. At the onset, one might be tempted to send the blame in that direction, but the group who spreads these diseases most rampantly is: heterosexual women! Yes, that’s right…heterosexual women. My thought behind this (and I’m not stating this as fact, but I guarantee there is some truth in it) is that there are men who are homosexual, but because of religious and social pressure, they remain in the closet yet they continue sleeping with their wives as well. It really is a shame that this happens because it’s really unfair to everyone involved. It isn’t fair to the woman because she believes that her husband loves her and is being faithful. It also isn’t fair to the man because, not only is he living a lie, but he doesn’t have much support to be open about these feelings. And it certainly isn’t fair to any offspring produced by the couple because they were brought into the world based on a lie. I would much rather live in a society where people feel they can be open about how they feel, to their partners and especially to themselves. If we had this kind of open forum in our society and in our communities, there wouldn’t be a need for the secrecy and we could better control the spread of these deadly diseases. However, as long as homosexuals feel they cannot openly express their true feelings, these diseases will continue moving through and killing people.
Another issue that seems to arise from the argument of homosexuality is whether it is something that is biologically imprinted or if it’s a conscious choice that people make for themselves. I think it’s easy for someone who isn’t homosexual to say that it’s a choice made by the person. I personally do not believe that it’s a choice made by an individual. Think back to all of the people in your life that you’ve been attracted to. Once you’ve done this, think about the forces that were at work when you realized your attraction. I’ll bet you probably had sweaty palms, your pulse running wild. Maybe your heart rate got faster or your mouth suddenly became dry. These are all physiological responses that are facilitated by the brain, which is attributed (in part) to a biological response. Now, think about those same responses and imagine that someone told you to simply “turn off” the attraction. Could you do it? Was there ever a person that you felt something for that couldn’t be explained by any rational thought? I know I have and there was no way that I could simply stop being attracted to that person just because someone told me so. If this is true for heterosexuals, why can it not be true for homosexuals? I do not believe that you have control over who you’re attracted to, even beyond all rational thought. If this is true and agreeable, one would have to admit that biology plays a role in homosexuality. Aside from this obvious observation, why would any person purposefully choose to be outcast, discriminated against, bullied or worse? I don’t know many people who would choose such a journey in life, one where they don’t feel that they can be themselves or have to hide from the world. In fact, there are some homosexuals who go to great lengths to rid themselves of the thoughts and feelings that undoubtedly (yet needlessly) plague their hearts and souls, especially those under societal and religious pressure. I guarantee you that even the “best” methods for trying to change one’s lifestyle by attempting to alter who they’re attracted to won’t work one bit. They will still continue to have those same thoughts and feelings. This, on top of everything else, will just lead to worse guilt that they cannot change something that isn’t truly meant for them to change in the first place. As a heterosexual, there isn’t any way that someone else could “convince” me through “reasoning” to change the gender I am attracted to and want to be in a relationship with. Again, if this is true of heterosexuals, then it must be true of homosexuals and that has to mean that there is a biological aspect at work.
Probably the most difficult issue that exists on this subject is simply how society views homosexuality and the accepted definition of marriage and the family unit. Historically, people who have been deemed by society as “different” have also been unfairly regarded as “bad” or “evil” people who don’t deserve to occupy space on this Earth, unless they have the ability to change. These unfounded, yet fast-held notions are the direct cause and result of slavery, racism, prejudice discrimination and the like. Is there a quick fix for these feelings?; absolutely not. If there was, these problems wouldn’t have existed for years, decades or even centuries. We are often times afraid and wary of changes and differences. Fear can lead people to have irrational thoughts, emotions and even actions. The thing we have to remember is this: we were all created differently; there is a reason why we all look, act, and do things differently. However, we all share common emotions that bind us together as humans. If we focus our energy into finding the common threads among us, we’d spend less time worrying about how people are different from us. What it all comes down to is this: there is not one person on this Earth who can claim perfection. We all do things while we are here that are despicable, wrong and sometimes, downright evil. How can any of us say that we are better than anyone else or that we somehow deserve to be here more than someone else? We cannot. Show me a perfect person and I’ll show you a liar.
My purpose here is not to try and change you to think or believe that homosexuality is “right” or “wrong.” I’m not here to influence what you believe about the issue. All I want to do is express a sense of tolerance and acceptance. I have a big problem with what lessons we are teaching our children. We are certainly not being very clear in those lessons. On one hand, we try and teach our children about loving and accepting others, yet we often practice something very different. What they end up seeing is that you are supposed to love and accept people, but only if they believe what you believe. I cannot equate treating someone who is unlike me with any less respect or tolerance as someone who is similar to me, in any aspect. Just because someone looks, acts or thinks differently doesn’t make them a bad person. If we don’t change these perceptions, we will end up being the cause of our own demise. If anything, just look back in history; the Holocaust, slavery, 9/11, etc…these events happened because we cannot allow ourselves to tolerate what makes us unique from each other. I believe that we can all co-exist without having to alter what we believe. Let me leave you with a quote:
“Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.” –JFK
If you don’t take anything else from what I’ve said, please remember to pass on the message of tolerance, especially to our children. Too many innocent people have died from sheer ignorance and lack of acceptance from our fellow man. When you strip us all down to the core, our labels vanish and we are inherently the same. When the Earth passes away, none of these things will matter anymore. Why do we insist on spending what little time we have hating one another? We cannot alter the past at this point, but the future is in our control and we can make change that we will be proud of once we cease to exist.
For as long as I can remember, I have believed that the institution of marriage was meant for a man and a woman. I have been taught this through religion and for a more obvious, biological reason: because men and women create babies. This is a very simplistic and straightforward piece of information and I have clung to it for as long as I have been consciously aware of the idea of marriage and family.
Of course, living in a black and white world is simple; it’s either one way or another. The problem with this is that we don’t live in a world of black and white; we live in a world of color and this alone, makes certain issues more difficult to tackle. However, I have found that a lot of people want to cling to that black and white version of the world. It’s not difficult to surmise why; it makes things much easier. You stick to the one side you’ve chosen and you don’t have to deal with any conflicting feelings because you’ve made your choice.
I’m always questioning my world and the things in it, trying to figure out how I feel and why about various issues in life. And then I asked myself the ultimate question: why can’t I keep my own beliefs, yet still be tolerant towards others who don’t share my beliefs? We all have different beliefs and come from diverse backgrounds. Most (if not all) religions teach tolerance, acceptance and love, yet very few put those teachings into practice. I have a big problem with this hypocrisy in religion, especially when there is not one Supreme Being on this Earth.
I have thought about the main arguments I have heard from heterosexuals regarding why they cannot tolerate homosexuals, especially with respect to marriage and the family unit. What I have found and seen to be the main issues, involve: the religious beliefs on what a family is comprised of and whom a marriage should be between, health issues surrounding sexually transmitted diseases, whether being gay is something that one chooses or that is biologically imprinted and simply the definition that is socially accepted with regards to family and marriage.
The religion argument has been the hardest one for me to overcome. My religion has always played a very important role in my life and I couldn’t simply disregard those thoughts and beliefs. I took a lot of time to think about how I feel about homosexuality and what has been taught to me through the church. Yes, I do know that in the Bible, God condemns homosexuality and it is considered sinful. However, having said that, there are a multitude of other sins that heterosexuals commit everyday that are just as sinful, yet somehow these can be overlooked as long as you’re not a homosexual. This idea doesn’t resonate well with me, especially when you’re also taught to be loving, accepting and tolerant of others. I am not God; everyone has to account for their own sins and I do not feel I have any right to judge, as I am a sinner just as everyone else. God loves us all, even when we sin, yet I know many “religious” people that believe homosexuals don’t deserve God’s love and only care about converting them to what they believe. This leads me to my next point. If all you care about is trying to convert people to think the way you do or believe what you believe, you are not being the loving person as it is dictated in the Bible. We are supposed to love and care for all others, regardless of their own beliefs. It is only through love that the message of religion can really be heard. As a religious person, I would be highly offended by someone trying to influence my beliefs to match that of their own; what makes me think that I have the right to do this to other people? If someone chooses to have a different belief system from my own, it is their choice to do so. I would rather God be proud of me for loving and accepting all of his creations as opposed to trying to tear someone else down. As I said before, we all have to account for the decisions we make in life and I do not feel that I am better or more exalted than anyone else as I am too, a sinner.
The second issue that seems to come up a lot is the idea that homosexuals are the cause for the spread of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. At the onset, one might be tempted to send the blame in that direction, but the group who spreads these diseases most rampantly is: heterosexual women! Yes, that’s right…heterosexual women. My thought behind this (and I’m not stating this as fact, but I guarantee there is some truth in it) is that there are men who are homosexual, but because of religious and social pressure, they remain in the closet yet they continue sleeping with their wives as well. It really is a shame that this happens because it’s really unfair to everyone involved. It isn’t fair to the woman because she believes that her husband loves her and is being faithful. It also isn’t fair to the man because, not only is he living a lie, but he doesn’t have much support to be open about these feelings. And it certainly isn’t fair to any offspring produced by the couple because they were brought into the world based on a lie. I would much rather live in a society where people feel they can be open about how they feel, to their partners and especially to themselves. If we had this kind of open forum in our society and in our communities, there wouldn’t be a need for the secrecy and we could better control the spread of these deadly diseases. However, as long as homosexuals feel they cannot openly express their true feelings, these diseases will continue moving through and killing people.
Another issue that seems to arise from the argument of homosexuality is whether it is something that is biologically imprinted or if it’s a conscious choice that people make for themselves. I think it’s easy for someone who isn’t homosexual to say that it’s a choice made by the person. I personally do not believe that it’s a choice made by an individual. Think back to all of the people in your life that you’ve been attracted to. Once you’ve done this, think about the forces that were at work when you realized your attraction. I’ll bet you probably had sweaty palms, your pulse running wild. Maybe your heart rate got faster or your mouth suddenly became dry. These are all physiological responses that are facilitated by the brain, which is attributed (in part) to a biological response. Now, think about those same responses and imagine that someone told you to simply “turn off” the attraction. Could you do it? Was there ever a person that you felt something for that couldn’t be explained by any rational thought? I know I have and there was no way that I could simply stop being attracted to that person just because someone told me so. If this is true for heterosexuals, why can it not be true for homosexuals? I do not believe that you have control over who you’re attracted to, even beyond all rational thought. If this is true and agreeable, one would have to admit that biology plays a role in homosexuality. Aside from this obvious observation, why would any person purposefully choose to be outcast, discriminated against, bullied or worse? I don’t know many people who would choose such a journey in life, one where they don’t feel that they can be themselves or have to hide from the world. In fact, there are some homosexuals who go to great lengths to rid themselves of the thoughts and feelings that undoubtedly (yet needlessly) plague their hearts and souls, especially those under societal and religious pressure. I guarantee you that even the “best” methods for trying to change one’s lifestyle by attempting to alter who they’re attracted to won’t work one bit. They will still continue to have those same thoughts and feelings. This, on top of everything else, will just lead to worse guilt that they cannot change something that isn’t truly meant for them to change in the first place. As a heterosexual, there isn’t any way that someone else could “convince” me through “reasoning” to change the gender I am attracted to and want to be in a relationship with. Again, if this is true of heterosexuals, then it must be true of homosexuals and that has to mean that there is a biological aspect at work.
Probably the most difficult issue that exists on this subject is simply how society views homosexuality and the accepted definition of marriage and the family unit. Historically, people who have been deemed by society as “different” have also been unfairly regarded as “bad” or “evil” people who don’t deserve to occupy space on this Earth, unless they have the ability to change. These unfounded, yet fast-held notions are the direct cause and result of slavery, racism, prejudice discrimination and the like. Is there a quick fix for these feelings?; absolutely not. If there was, these problems wouldn’t have existed for years, decades or even centuries. We are often times afraid and wary of changes and differences. Fear can lead people to have irrational thoughts, emotions and even actions. The thing we have to remember is this: we were all created differently; there is a reason why we all look, act, and do things differently. However, we all share common emotions that bind us together as humans. If we focus our energy into finding the common threads among us, we’d spend less time worrying about how people are different from us. What it all comes down to is this: there is not one person on this Earth who can claim perfection. We all do things while we are here that are despicable, wrong and sometimes, downright evil. How can any of us say that we are better than anyone else or that we somehow deserve to be here more than someone else? We cannot. Show me a perfect person and I’ll show you a liar.
My purpose here is not to try and change you to think or believe that homosexuality is “right” or “wrong.” I’m not here to influence what you believe about the issue. All I want to do is express a sense of tolerance and acceptance. I have a big problem with what lessons we are teaching our children. We are certainly not being very clear in those lessons. On one hand, we try and teach our children about loving and accepting others, yet we often practice something very different. What they end up seeing is that you are supposed to love and accept people, but only if they believe what you believe. I cannot equate treating someone who is unlike me with any less respect or tolerance as someone who is similar to me, in any aspect. Just because someone looks, acts or thinks differently doesn’t make them a bad person. If we don’t change these perceptions, we will end up being the cause of our own demise. If anything, just look back in history; the Holocaust, slavery, 9/11, etc…these events happened because we cannot allow ourselves to tolerate what makes us unique from each other. I believe that we can all co-exist without having to alter what we believe. Let me leave you with a quote:
“Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.” –JFK
If you don’t take anything else from what I’ve said, please remember to pass on the message of tolerance, especially to our children. Too many innocent people have died from sheer ignorance and lack of acceptance from our fellow man. When you strip us all down to the core, our labels vanish and we are inherently the same. When the Earth passes away, none of these things will matter anymore. Why do we insist on spending what little time we have hating one another? We cannot alter the past at this point, but the future is in our control and we can make change that we will be proud of once we cease to exist.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Entry #11
I am utterly and completely DISGUSTED at what this country has become! And no, I am not un-American or unpatriotic, but we seem to be consistently taking our country further and further into the pits of hell. It honestly depresses me feeling that there is nothing positive in America anymore. It is because I love my country that I am upset at what we are becoming.
I do not blame one person or group consistently; I believe we have all had a hand in the demise of the good ole US of A. We seem to have been on this downward spiral for years and now we are coming to a climax of our greed, hatred and plain stupidity. I’m not even sure where to begin; there is a laundry list of things that are plaguing this country. Pollution, gluttony, discrimination, racism, the abuse of lawsuits, health care, crime, education, poverty, obesity, the power struggle, irresponsibility with finance and the economy, war, drugs, religion, money; it’s all present in society today. Not that these things weren’t present before, but certainly not as extreme as today. We have obviously not learned from the mistakes of the past and seem apathetic in even trying to learn from those mistakes. In fact, as I see it, we have taken those already-present bad things and made them even worse. It’s no wonder that you can’t even make it through the news without hearing negative story after negative story.
I think one of the biggest disappointments is that no one has any proactive ideas for change --- real change. We all want to point the finger and play the blame game. The only way we are going to initiate change is to stop blaming others (or even ourselves) and actually do something about it. Change is only going to stem from action. One thing I have noticed is that all of those things I mentioned above are all interrelated. This means that if we can get at the root of these issues, we will take care of several of them at once. We need to get out of this mentality of working against each other and begin working together. When it all boils down, we pretty much all want the same things in life; to be happy, healthy and provide a good future for ourselves and our loved ones. It’s amazing to see how we’re all so eager to get these things as quickly as possible, we are willing to knock someone else down on the way there. What happens in the end is that we all lose.
The question that remains is: what can we do to begin that change or to simply BE that change? I believe that the answer is simpler than we all realize. We need to go back to the basics, the simple (yet important) values that this country was founded on. If the founders on this country could see us today, I truly believe that they would be saddened at what we’ve done to ourselves. Somewhere along the way, money, beauty, power and greed became our top priorities and we lost sight of compassion, love, generosity and kindness. If we could become unified and work together, we could accomplish these goals much quicker and more efficiently. If we put as much energy into these things as we do these so-called “priorities,” we would all be much happier and our journeys in life would feel much lighter. A chain of kindness and compassion needs to begin; if we cannot empathize and try to understand other people’s woes, we can’t expect others to do the same for us. This very act sends us into this vicious cycle that only seems to create more of these negative energies. I’m not saying there won’t be some who will continue to take advantage of these things in life, but those people would be the exception rather than the rule. At the end of the day, I would rather be known for loving and caring about the very essence of the human spirit (learning more about myself in the process) than a powerful billionaire who cared more about my bottom line than anything else. When we reach the end of our lives, the same thing happens to each and every one of us: we die. Game over. Then what? What will you have left at the end of your life? Are the things you are achieving today going to make a bit of difference when that happens? When you die, what do you want people to remember about you? There aren’t very many people (I don’t think) who want to be remembered for the money they had or the power they yielded. Tell me one thing, though. If that is truly how you want people to remember you, why is money and power (and the like) so important right now? Why wait until the end is near to care about the things that matter most when you can do that now? We all know how fast time flies by. Don’t let it all run out before you actually get up and do something about it.
I do not blame one person or group consistently; I believe we have all had a hand in the demise of the good ole US of A. We seem to have been on this downward spiral for years and now we are coming to a climax of our greed, hatred and plain stupidity. I’m not even sure where to begin; there is a laundry list of things that are plaguing this country. Pollution, gluttony, discrimination, racism, the abuse of lawsuits, health care, crime, education, poverty, obesity, the power struggle, irresponsibility with finance and the economy, war, drugs, religion, money; it’s all present in society today. Not that these things weren’t present before, but certainly not as extreme as today. We have obviously not learned from the mistakes of the past and seem apathetic in even trying to learn from those mistakes. In fact, as I see it, we have taken those already-present bad things and made them even worse. It’s no wonder that you can’t even make it through the news without hearing negative story after negative story.
I think one of the biggest disappointments is that no one has any proactive ideas for change --- real change. We all want to point the finger and play the blame game. The only way we are going to initiate change is to stop blaming others (or even ourselves) and actually do something about it. Change is only going to stem from action. One thing I have noticed is that all of those things I mentioned above are all interrelated. This means that if we can get at the root of these issues, we will take care of several of them at once. We need to get out of this mentality of working against each other and begin working together. When it all boils down, we pretty much all want the same things in life; to be happy, healthy and provide a good future for ourselves and our loved ones. It’s amazing to see how we’re all so eager to get these things as quickly as possible, we are willing to knock someone else down on the way there. What happens in the end is that we all lose.
The question that remains is: what can we do to begin that change or to simply BE that change? I believe that the answer is simpler than we all realize. We need to go back to the basics, the simple (yet important) values that this country was founded on. If the founders on this country could see us today, I truly believe that they would be saddened at what we’ve done to ourselves. Somewhere along the way, money, beauty, power and greed became our top priorities and we lost sight of compassion, love, generosity and kindness. If we could become unified and work together, we could accomplish these goals much quicker and more efficiently. If we put as much energy into these things as we do these so-called “priorities,” we would all be much happier and our journeys in life would feel much lighter. A chain of kindness and compassion needs to begin; if we cannot empathize and try to understand other people’s woes, we can’t expect others to do the same for us. This very act sends us into this vicious cycle that only seems to create more of these negative energies. I’m not saying there won’t be some who will continue to take advantage of these things in life, but those people would be the exception rather than the rule. At the end of the day, I would rather be known for loving and caring about the very essence of the human spirit (learning more about myself in the process) than a powerful billionaire who cared more about my bottom line than anything else. When we reach the end of our lives, the same thing happens to each and every one of us: we die. Game over. Then what? What will you have left at the end of your life? Are the things you are achieving today going to make a bit of difference when that happens? When you die, what do you want people to remember about you? There aren’t very many people (I don’t think) who want to be remembered for the money they had or the power they yielded. Tell me one thing, though. If that is truly how you want people to remember you, why is money and power (and the like) so important right now? Why wait until the end is near to care about the things that matter most when you can do that now? We all know how fast time flies by. Don’t let it all run out before you actually get up and do something about it.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Entry #10
When I was younger, having “friends” meant being invited to birthday parties, receiving lots of Valentine’s Day cards and having others to play and be young with, apart from my family. To me, it felt like friendship was more of a social tool and there wasn’t a deep, significant meaning behind it. Don’t get me wrong; I certainly cared about the people I spent the most time with. I think it’s just that friendship played a more superficial role in my life back then. I don’t think it’s possible when you are a kid to truly comprehend the inherent value of a good friend. And that’s not a bad thing, per se; it’s just a part of growing up. Unfortunately, when you’re younger, part of that growing process can include moving away, changing schools, different interests and activities as well as other obstacles that often limit how far a friendship can progress. At those stages in life, there is still a lot of immaturity so the ability (and perhaps motivation) to maintain the relationship tends to falter. If you’re lucky enough, you will have at least one friend whom you remain close with into adulthood, but those relationships are usually few and far between.
I don’t think I truly began to appreciate what it really means to be a friend until just recently. I don’t believe this has anything to do with knowing what friendship means. I think you can know what the definition of friendship is, but the ability to comprehend something and the ability to actually follow through differs quite sharply. There have been many things in life that I have mentally grasped the concept of, but when it comes to actually living out those concepts I don’t do as well. I think this is true of most early friendships and the meaning changes throughout the friendships one acquires in their lifetime. Does this mean that I believe that friendships formed early in life are meaningless or can never survive? Absolutely not; in fact, I believe quite the contrary. I think that friendships formed early in life are extremely beneficial to the well-being and maturity of a person. Your friends (during early life) offer views into different family dynamics, ideologies and opinions that you might otherwise not be exposed to. Friends are one of the first steps towards autonomy and they are an important experience for a person to have. What it boils down to is that while all friendships have worth, we tend not to truly understand that worth until later on in life (which might also help explain why most early friendships fade).
I believe that as you grow and learn more about trust, betrayal, empathy, loyalty and the like, the concept of friendship expands further. For example, where you were previously fighting over dolls and daydreaming about teen heartthrobs, now you are consoling a friend who is divorcing or rejoicing with a friend who is expecting. What’s funny is that with friends who I’ve managed to maintain a relationship with over time, things that seemed so significant back then are often a source of comical relief now. I am enjoying my friendships on a much different level these days and I absolutely love it! Throughout our highs and lows, we have laughed, cried, hugged and shared intimate moments that have made us more like family. I certainly do not regret my earlier friendships. Without those, I don’t think I would be the person I am today nor would I have learned the things I needed to know to have the friendships I do now. What’s even more wonderful is that I learn how to be a better friend everyday. I consider myself fortunate to have the friends I do and I hope they know that without them, I would only be a fragment of who I am now. They are and will continue to be the notes in the music of my soul.
Dedicated to the greatest friends a gal could ever have: Tina, Rosa, Gladis, Susan, Jeanette, Maria, Zufan & Reina
I also simultaneously dedicate this to my dear childhood friends: Sylvia, Jessica Z, Shaki, Zufan (I also include Rosa in this category as she has been not only my childhood friend, but also one of my greatest adult friends too).
I don’t think I truly began to appreciate what it really means to be a friend until just recently. I don’t believe this has anything to do with knowing what friendship means. I think you can know what the definition of friendship is, but the ability to comprehend something and the ability to actually follow through differs quite sharply. There have been many things in life that I have mentally grasped the concept of, but when it comes to actually living out those concepts I don’t do as well. I think this is true of most early friendships and the meaning changes throughout the friendships one acquires in their lifetime. Does this mean that I believe that friendships formed early in life are meaningless or can never survive? Absolutely not; in fact, I believe quite the contrary. I think that friendships formed early in life are extremely beneficial to the well-being and maturity of a person. Your friends (during early life) offer views into different family dynamics, ideologies and opinions that you might otherwise not be exposed to. Friends are one of the first steps towards autonomy and they are an important experience for a person to have. What it boils down to is that while all friendships have worth, we tend not to truly understand that worth until later on in life (which might also help explain why most early friendships fade).
I believe that as you grow and learn more about trust, betrayal, empathy, loyalty and the like, the concept of friendship expands further. For example, where you were previously fighting over dolls and daydreaming about teen heartthrobs, now you are consoling a friend who is divorcing or rejoicing with a friend who is expecting. What’s funny is that with friends who I’ve managed to maintain a relationship with over time, things that seemed so significant back then are often a source of comical relief now. I am enjoying my friendships on a much different level these days and I absolutely love it! Throughout our highs and lows, we have laughed, cried, hugged and shared intimate moments that have made us more like family. I certainly do not regret my earlier friendships. Without those, I don’t think I would be the person I am today nor would I have learned the things I needed to know to have the friendships I do now. What’s even more wonderful is that I learn how to be a better friend everyday. I consider myself fortunate to have the friends I do and I hope they know that without them, I would only be a fragment of who I am now. They are and will continue to be the notes in the music of my soul.
Dedicated to the greatest friends a gal could ever have: Tina, Rosa, Gladis, Susan, Jeanette, Maria, Zufan & Reina
I also simultaneously dedicate this to my dear childhood friends: Sylvia, Jessica Z, Shaki, Zufan (I also include Rosa in this category as she has been not only my childhood friend, but also one of my greatest adult friends too).
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